Except for a handful of nights, most of my kids have been living with me continuously for the past six months. With the start of the new school year, they had set up a schedule alternating weeks between their parents' houses. But they haven't been sticking to the schedule, deciding to spend extra weekends or even weeks with me often on short notice. It broke my heart to cancel a planned sleep-over recently with Hunky 22-year-old when my daughter phoned to say she was staying with me an extra week.
Hosting has become nearly impossible. In the past week alone, I've cancelled hookup opportunities from at eight appealing guys, all younger than me with four in their early twenties. Most of these guys had hooked up with me in the summer.... I'm always happy to know that I have satisifed customers wanting more!
Last night, my daughter spent the night at a friend's house and I was home alone. I had planned to spend some sweet, naked time in my own bed with some sexy young man: cuddling, kissing and sucking cock. But I was very tired and had a lot of work to prepare for Parent-Teacher interviews this week. So I spent the night alone and didn't even log onto pof.com to avoid having to explain to some appealing guy why I didn't want to hook up with him right then. If you say "no" too many times to a guy online, he will quickly stop asking.
But I should be careful what I wish for. Soon, my kids will all be living on their own and I will be here in my 'empty nest.' One of the greatest fears of closeted married men is that they will lose contact with their children if they come out. That certainly hasn't happened to me!
Although the kids love their mother, they find her difficult to live with. They complain to me about her being bossy, angry, lazy and disorganized, with an attitude of "I'm right all the time" and "It's my way or the highway." I refuse to be drawn into these complaints but I do point out to them that I lived under those conditions for twenty years.
By contrast, I'm a "cool dad" who is infinitely more relaxed about everything ( perhaps too relaxed.) As well, the kids' real emotional attachment is to my spectacular waterfront property with endless recreational opportunities rather than my wife's little house in town. So... I shouldn't be surprised that they prefer to spend time with me.
Eventually, I will talk to the kids about my desire to entertain men in my own home.... and I know they will be okay with it. But that must wait until our divorce is finalized because (1) my wife will hear about my hookups and (2) she will have a very hard time with it; it may prompt her to attempt change the terms of our agreement and increase her demands.
I just don't want to open that can of worms!