Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Daddy

During my Big Gay Adventure last month, I set up my first profile on a gay hook-up site,  Adam4Adam  in the small(ish) city where I was staying.   In my profile, I used my actual face picture and several realistic pictures of me in my undies.  I described myself as a "late 40s gay virgin."

I was struck by the number of unattractive, fat middle-aged guys who specified on their profiles, "Only interested in guys 20 - 25 years old."   Are they delusional?  Do they ever get any responses?

The biggest surprise for me:  of the five guys who seriously responded to my profile, three were in the 28 - 30 year old group.  I just don't understand why a young guy would be interested in someone twenty years older!   There wasn't much interest from men in my own age group.


The first guy was a 28 year old who wanted to play, pictured at left.  I couldn't believe that someone so young wanted to have sex with me so I messaged him saying, "You do know that I am twenty years older than you, right?"   He responded.  "I don't care.  U R hot."   Funny!..... and a bit of a confidence booster!    Sadly, neither of us could host and with my 12 hour per day course schedule and his work schedule, we didn't get together.

The second response came from Hottie Nurse.  I've described that special encounter several times already, My Gay Virginity Lost! , Doing the Nasty and Afterglow.

I got a several messages from the sweet young man pictured  below.   Sexy body, sweet face, beautiful smile, an athlete.  He complimented me on my profile and my looks but seemed more focused on "finding a friend" and "seeking a LTR."

I thanked him for his interest but pointed out that I lived thousands of miles away, would be leaving town in several days and was not available for a relationship.  To be honest, I became increasingly interested in meeting him; he was so sweet and so hot!  ... but I was leaving town the next day.

He sent several more messages similar to the first;  he seemed so lonely.  I felt sorry for him and finally suggested to him that Adam4Adam  probably was not the place to find a LTR.  Couldn't he find a nice gay soccer or football
league to join, or some other gay social group?

In the world of heterosexual dating,  no 28 year old woman would ever be interested in a guy who was +20 years older unless he was rich.

The question:   why are some younger gay guys so interested in being with men who are decades older than them?

26 comments:

  1. I've asked this same question myself, and the conclusion that I reached is that younger guys think that older guys are going to be more knowledgeable about the act of love making / fucking.

    I think that for someone in their twenties, the physical act of cumming comes so easily and often that they think that is what it's all about and when they cum that's the end of it. For an older guy that justs one step.

    Then, of course there are the other things; older guys can look hot, daddy issues, the appearance of having more experience, them wanting to be more mature, and many more. Bottom line, accept it, don't question it, and go with it.

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  2. I don't know, but it bodes well for us mid thirties guys, something to look forward to. Lol. Maybe they think that an older guy would be more appreciative, where as a younger guy is more superficial.

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  3. Nothing surprises me anymore. I have a close friend from my gay men's support group (from 5 years ago), who was 62 at the time. He always used to say," I'm old, I'm fat and I'm ugly, who would ever want me?" He was a widower and came out after his wife died. He met a 36 year Spaniard online, and today, they are married and live in the Canary Islands.

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  4. Because the smart ones know we're centered, caring, not just interested in getting off and getting out, and that we are strong, experienced lovers who'll give a boy a very good time for a very ling time in many ways.

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  5. Honestly! I'm 25, and there is nothing hotter than a man older then me... it's the experience, the fact that they are more mature... it's just hot!!! LOL

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  6. I am 24 years old and an older guy is always much more attractive to me. They have the knowledge and experience to pleasure me and also teach me things I never knew, I never knew. A older guy in a suit, with salt and pepper hair is my idea of sexual heaven.

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  7. Wow! Thanks for all the great responses!! I guess my question has been thoroughly answered. I am especially pleased to hear from the two young 'uns as well. Exciting!!

    An experienced online friend said that gay men can be very self-centred. He recommended I look for a mature, formerly married gay guy who is also a father. Such guys are used to considering the needs of others, not just their own.

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  8. Personally, I've always been attracted to older men. MUCH older. The largest age difference I've experienced is 34 years, and it was not an issue at all. (I was 14 and super horny; he was 48).

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  9. oh lord, there are many psychology papers written on this topic.
    If you want I will do an entry on this.

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  10. Cubby: 14 versus 48? All I can say is, "WOW!"

    Dr. Spo: A post on this topic? Yes, that would be great!

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  11. Been with a guy 15 years my junior for 20years this October. I was 49 he looked 28! Took him a year to wear me down. Played "just friends" (no benefits) all that time. When he finally made his move I stopped him with "I don't fuck around with anyone under thirty! Why ruin a real friendship." Then he told me his real age and since we already knew each other so well...the sex was and remains fantastic!

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  12. Just to add a little bit, my first experience I was 14 and he was 31.... believe me, his experience paid off and I don't regret a thing!!!

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  13. RexV, ARichNY: Thank you! I love hearing stories like this.

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  14. When I was young, I was always most attracted to older men. It wasn't a Daddy thing...it was sort of a combination of confidence and experience and that certain swagger that always caught my eye. My first LTR, I was 25 and he was 52 and that relationship lasted 21 years until he passed away. I'm now 53 and have a new relationship (2 years now) and he is 36. Strange how you change in life.

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  15. Anonymous 5:03 pm: Another fantastic story! I often wondered what happens to the younger guy when his much older partner passes away. I'm glad that everything worked out so well for you.

    Thanks for reading my blog and commenting!!

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  16. Wonderful stories!

    When I came out at 48, my limit was "no one under 30". To me, anyone younger was getting too close to my own son's age.

    My gay mentor (I'll call him Bowen) had a limit of no one under 40 (he was 45). He'd be down-right rude to anyone younger that approached him. Unfortunately for Bowen, he's nearly 50 now, alone and depressed.

    I also had an upper limit . . . my own age + 2 years. Then I took a chance to meet an "older man" (yes, Bill is 5 years older than me). OMG, I'm so glad I took that chance. We are so suited for each other and so in love!

    I decided pretty early on that I wanted to have an LTR but one thing I noticed was a "generation gap" (seriously) when I went out with men a lot younger than me. Their taste in music, clothing, activities like video gaming, etc just didn't match me. Finding someone my own age has been the answer for me.

    Incidentally, my ex-parents-in-law's ages where 18 years apart and they were married for over 40 years until my father-in-law passed away.

    It was tough on the old mother-in-law when Pop got slowed down in his twilight years and she was still an active, younger woman.

    Great blog! Thanks Buddy.

    Mike

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  17. All interesting. When I was younger, I was attracted to older guys. Now that I'm older, I'm attracted to people, not ages (since I've been with my partner for 28 years, these attractions occur all in the mind).

    But still, I find that I'm very easily attracted to the same age group that I was when I was younger. A guy in is mid- to late-30s. No longer a kid, still young

    But as I said, as one ages, one matures, and age means less and less.

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  18. I was "married" to my partner for 22 years. He was 17 years my senior (I've already told you that, I think)! It's true about older men being more caring and less self-centered. But there are also younger man who are caring too! Now I'm 45, and I'm just looking for that "special thing". Don't ask me what, I cannot describe it. It has nothing to do with age, race or looks!
    Hugs
    Jon

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  19. Good question, and I'll be dammed if I can figure it out. However, I think it is the same with women too... I know a lot of my sister's friends think George Clooney and Brad Pitt are gorgeous (which of course they are) but these men are old enough to be their father... Ew gross - right?

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  20. Agree with a great deal that has already been written. When you're younger, you may find that the only thing that you want is to get off. No holds barred, no strings attached is a great deal of fun. But it is tiring. No matter your age, you want to feel wanted and loved. Add this to the fact that an older man is more experienced (among other things, we know how to take it slowly), and that is the answer as to why some younger guys desire older men.

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  21. My first LTR well, for about a year, I was 23 and I thought he was about 10 years my senior..but, six months into the relationship I asked, and found out he was 45. This man had some incredible genes.
    Today, I think men in their forties are at their best, I am now 53, and young men do nothing to interest me. I am simply turned on by maturity.
    I do remember at 23, wanting to experience a man who was more sincere, than the men my age.
    Today, I find lots of 60 year olds really sexy too.

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    1. What a great comment! Thanks for writing!

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  22. I like older men as well as any hot men. It's the fact that older men have lived life and have stories and experiences to tell and teach. I find older men are more understanding, compassionate, compromising, mentally and financially stable, and have characteristic wrinkles on their faces; it's just plain sexy. I'm 38 and think men in their forties are hot as hell. I would drop a hot twenty like second year high school french for a hot forty something. Why can't I have both? haha Cheers. D

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    1. LOL. That's what threesomes are made for: all of your favourite types of men in the same bed!

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  23. for me why we like older guys......btw im only 18 years old.......it is because we love mature ones because of safety aura u can give to us and also more yummy and hot looking also for those who are rugged or mid 30-50's hahahhaha yummy and also we like how u make love , it makes us more aggressive and fall in love with you guys, iwant to have daddy fubu more likely a teacher, coach or just hot business man :) ....... we love daddy because the way they look, their eyes was so OM....WTF i wanna fucked hahahahha :P

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    1. I loved your comment: thank you! I especially like the idea of "safety aura" that older guys can give younger guys. I'm starting to understand!

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